TGWBW with the Gossip Goddess
by scoobygal
Summary: The gods were behind what! Don't believe the Mist, let the Gossip Goddess give you the REAL story on what the Greek gods have been up too.
1. Chapter 1

_Hey ya'll, this is the author speaking. This fanfic is supposed to be read like you're listening to it on the radio. I'll be writing about current events, past events, history, whatever, and make explanations for them. The Greek gods were behind it all! Anyways, I'm going to definatley go into some controversial subjects, like the Tiger Woods stuff, and well, I don't want to give away too much. Just know that I am not writing this to insult anyone, whether dead or alive. This is meant to be read as humor, so keep that in mind for future chapters. Anyways, Enjoy!_

_Disclaimer: I don't own Percy Jackson, the Olympians, or anything.  
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(Perky theme song: It's time! It's time! For the best show ever! It's time! It's time! For the dirty secrets of the gods! It's time! It's time! For the Gossip Goddess of Course!)

Good Evening listeners! You are listening to TGWBW. I am your hostess with the mostest, Gossip Goddess OPRAH! Well, my name isn't Oprah. And thankfully I am not that women who makes like zillions of dollars on TV, 'cause if I was, I wouldn't be wasting my time as a TV person, or whatever she is. I'd be on a remote island with hot young things named Kyle and Derek who feed me ambrosia cubes on gold platters. Oh, wait... I DO DO that! Lucky me and poor you, I mean, Oprah.

But, I have decided to leave my island so I can bring you TGWBW. I had to leave my personal paradise, because certain gods would blast poor little ole me to itty bitty pieces if they knew where I was. You wanna know why? Well of course you do! I am gonna spill all sorts of our gods and goddesses juicy secrets. All, and I do mean **all**, of the secrets will be bestowed on to you. It's time for their dirty, smelly laundry to be aired out. Those disgusting skeletons in their closets are coming **OUT**. Prepare yourself, 'cause it won't be pretty.

Ever wanna know why those dumb American celebrities do the dumb stuff they do? What about Tiger Woods? What about all the mysterious deaths? Where the heck Elvis is? Mmmmm? It certainly isn't a mystery. The gods were behind it of course! That's what TGWBW stands for silly. "The gods Were Behind WHAT!?!?!"

(Thunder Rumbles in the distanance)

Well, I'm not going to tell you all of their secrets right now, since I hear some thunder rumbling, but, tune in next time, where we'll start with something really fun about a certain "Queen of Heaven" and the poor guy she fell in love with. Here's a hint, it's not her husband…

Feel free to leave any requests on future episodes, 'cause the gods were probably behind it. Shoot, even if they weren't, I can twist it so they were behind it. Who needs Mist when you got me.

Tune in next time, for TGWBW!

This program has been brought to you by the Gossip Goddess.

(Static)


	2. Chapter 2

_Hey ya'll! Here is my first spin on a particularly sad subject. Just remember that the only thing that I'm really picking on is the Greek gods and such, since that was some of the funniest parts of the Percy Jackson series. Any real people are not what I'm laughing or picking at. Also, minor spoiler to The Last Olympian, but nothing that is important to the plot._

_Disclaimer: I do not own the Percy Jackson series or the Greek gods._

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(Perky theme song: It's time! It's time! For the best show ever! It's time! It's time! For the dirty secrets of the gods! It's time! It's time! For the Gossip Goddess of Course!)

Good Evening listeners! It's that time again for TGWBW with the Gossip Goddess, who is obviously me. Tonight's show is a HUGE secret, that is not particularly happy, but still, it's just so secretive and I'm soo awesome for digging it up. So you better appreciate it, 'cause a certain goddess isn't going to be happy with me by the end of this show.

Now last time, I believe I left you with the hint that this episode would be something about the "Queen of Heaven" and some man that she fell in love with. Now just give me a bit to remember who I was talking about. Just give me a sec…, it's in here somewhere…

(Rustling papers, glass breaking, water spilling, fish flopping)

OH CRAP! That fishbowl and Goldie were a gifts from Poseidon! And it got all over my tidbits! Wait, we're still on the air?

(Fish flopping continues)

Well, don't you worry about that listeners. It was just a little accident. The fish might be saved.

(Fish flopping stops)

Or not. ANYWAYS! About my news that you've been waiting patiently for, 'cause you love me so much. Did you know that Hera, the "Queen of Heaven", the Goddess of Marriages, the wife of the head honcho himself, had a brief affair? Well, it was more like a one night stand, but STILL.

Now, this piece of news came from, unknowingly of course, from the half-blood, Annabeth Chase. Now, we all know that Hera and Annabeth do not have the best relationship. So when I snuck up on Annabeth and Percy in the middle of a make out session, I thought that I may get some little tidbits. I had NO idea I was gonna listen to Annabeth telling Percy that she saw Miss High and Mighty Hera leaving poor Heath Ledger's apartment in the middle of the night on the night he died!

I later found out that Hera had been in love with the gorgeous Mr. Ledger for years. And well, who could blame her? I mean, the guy was H-O-T. Sigh. Anyway, the night Mr. Ledger died, Hera apparently met him, carried out her business that didn't involve her husband, and then, well, poor Mr. Ledger got the fuzzy end of the lollipop. (SOB, HE WAS SO CUTE)

(THUNDER ROARS, sound starts to static up a bit)

Oh my. Sounds like Zeus didn't know. Shocker there. I guess Hera wanted to keep her squeaky clean, picture perfect, family matriarch image squeaky clean and picture perfect. (Sarcastic) Whoops.

Although, apart from ripping away a spectacular actor from the world, who can blame her all that much. I mean, _she married her brother. _Eww.

(Thunder continues louder)

Err, I think I'm going to have to end it here everyone.

(**BOOM!!!!**)

Oh, hi Lord Zues… Lady Hera...

(Really fast) Well, that's all we have time for today. Tune in next time to TGWBW! This has been brought to you by the Gossip Goddess!

(Static, then silence)

_Again, I'm not dissing Heath, cause he was awesome, and the situation was tragic. _


End file.
